My Husband Fails To Satisfy Me In Bed, Please Advise

My Husband Fails To Satisfy Me In Bed,  Please Advise

Greetings Editor,

Well, I am a Zambian Lady aged 26, married with a 2 year old daughter. I am a nurse by professional working at one of the busiest Government Hospitals in Lusaka and my husband aged 30 is an officer just here in Lusaka. He is currently away for peace keeping mission in Sudan and I expect him back before the end of this year. I got married four years ago to the same husband after being in a sexless courtship for 5 years. I am happy that at the time of getting married, both of us were still virgins and we hard to break the virginity of each other at the honeymoon; a wonderful and rare experience.
The problem I have brothers and sisters is that of being denied conjugal rights by my beloved husband. Let me say he is not doing it deliberately but rather, I came to discover after medical examination that he was just born like that. To tell you the truth, my husband only manages to have sex with me once per one or two months. And what is bad is that when he manages to have sex, he just does it for less than five minutes and stops after ejaculating. This means that in a year, we have only the average of 10 days (times) to meet as husband and wife. It is during such days in a year that I utilize to get pregnant and I should state that he is very much fertile as he is the biological father of my first and only daughter I currently have. This means that I am not complaining when it comes to fertility as his sperms as concluded by medical examinations, are more than powerful to impregnate me.
The problem I have dear friends is that of not having sex for one or two months when at my age, I am still sexually active. I discussed this with my lovely husband and we agreed that we should be having it at least once per month. But what surprised me was that after one year, he told me that his body could no longer manage to have sex once per month, but once after two months. I tried to persuade him to maintain the one month arrangement but he refused saying he could not manage. Because of the fact that we love each other, we decided to see the doctor and medical examinations proved he was just born like that and that it was not because he had other sexual partners as I first thought. The doctor further said the condition was not reversible, but said I was lucky that his sperms were very okay to even continue making me pregnant for the next fifteen years or more.
But late last year after seeing that I was really being punished going for two or three months without sex, my caring husband suggested that we find a man who could be sleeping with me at least twice a week from our home. At first I agreed to that idea and told him to find one for me as I did not want to be accused of adultery in future. After failing to persuade me to find myself a man whom I could be happy with, he decided to find one of his cousin who is a married teacher with two children and we happen to live in the same locality. To tell you the truth, the man (cousin to my husband) was very happy with the idea of satisfying me sexually in the place of my husband to the extent that he promised to be giving me money every month. When the time came for him (his cousin) to start having arranged sex with me, I changed my minds and told my husband I was NOT interested. My husband was very disappointed with my behavior and told me never to bother him again but I should rather be waiting for his time table of having sex after two or three months. Right now, he is out of the country for peace keeping mission in Sudan and his cousin has been coming home to persuade me to sleep with him since it has the blessings from my husband, but still I have been refusing. I even threatened to report him to his wife who is a teacher like him.
But despite resisting and refusing to have sexual intercourse with this man who is not my husband, sexual feelings have not spared me. Currently my body is always weak and when I saw the doctor last week, I was told it was due to lack of sex and I was advised against starving my body sexually.
And to make the matters worse, my husband who had come back from Sudan for break during the festive season refused to have sex with me saying I should wait until when he comes back in May this year. He said that my behavior of refusing to sleep with other men was the one that was punishing me and he left just like that.
So now friends, I am in a predicament. I don’t know what to do. My husband has given me all the rights to have sex outside marriage, but I am still resisting this. Should I just continue resisting or should I just give in and start sleeping with either his cousin or the other unmarried man who is my neighbor? I say so because this man has also been approaching me and when I told my husband, he said I should go ahead provided I go with him for HIV test. So what should I do? Should I start sleeping with one of these men since my husband has authorized me 100% or should I just find other means of satisfying myself sexually, say by masturbating? I say this because at my age I can’t manage to have sex just once per month, and when I have it, it’s just for less than five minutes.
Please advise me. I promise to take your advice. As of now since I was born, I have never ever slept with any other man except my husband whom I have just slept with for less than 25 times in four years.
I need your advice beloved friends and thanks in anticipation.

I am Evereen.

88 Responses to "My Husband Fails To Satisfy Me In Bed, Please Advise"

  1. VOLTRON   January 20, 2016 at 11:33 pm

    Kuti shaunfwileko any where, ba Z twalituma ama soldiers ku sudan ililine panku uyu abe away nangu kale?

  2. ghose   January 21, 2016 at 12:37 am

    only God can make a miracle.one day it share be well….Amen

  3. sex mania   January 21, 2016 at 3:10 am

    what can you do , if your Husband was well ,and went to work out for 1 or 2 years , out of the country? If it true u have never slept with another man before apart from your husband, then you are blessed. The problem now days most young ladies you take sex like, you can not live with out it.
    My advise is just stay the way you are, because you soon die from AIDS if you start doing that.(sleeping with men).
    Just find a way of relieving yourself. Buy yourself Toy or Vibrator , and masturbate , with them.
    tho masturbation is a sin.
    i condemn your husband too for a wrong advise.sending u to men is not a solution.hang in the same 1 round per 2 months, u are even better, some of ur friends gets none in these marriages u see. stay strong, and serve ur life u have a long way to go.

  4. Concerned   January 21, 2016 at 6:25 am

    Never ever go for another man! It is worse than divorce. Better divorce then remarry. My sister never give in to any one else. NEVER. I am a married man and i know exactly what am saying.

  5. Fred   January 21, 2016 at 8:26 am

    kindly send me the email address for the lady.

  6. kakolwe   January 21, 2016 at 9:52 am

    DILDO WILL DO!
    Olo umupini wesembe!

  7. kavin   January 21, 2016 at 10:26 am

    :very sad story ..sex is a gift from God ..u hve to enjoy it but in yo case u hve to b carefull u end up messiing ur life with this deadly HIV virus

  8. sons of lightening, thunder and fire   January 21, 2016 at 10:26 am

    I know how you feel woman. You are a true, faithful and honest woman God can love. God have seen your tears woman. All what you are passing through are just temptations. When you are weak you Falk and sin. So be strong and determined to win this battle, defeat the devil, Hold your ground, resist the devil. No condition is permanent under the sun, joy comes in the morning. Stick to your husband, Go for prayers woman, I believe God can change anything. All children of God cry no more, there will joy in the morning, God is watching you. I like your faith woman, be strong. God gave you one and only husband he’s the one for you. If you sneak away from your husband you are burning yourself woman, God is going to punish you without mercy. Continue to be faithful, strong, confident and determined to resist evil clutches call. All will pass away, like chaff blown by the wind. Worry no more. (Smile)

  9. AJ   January 21, 2016 at 11:34 am

    FOR BETTER FOR WORSE. I BELIEVE YOU MADE THAT VOW. IF YOU HAVE NEVER SLEPT WITH ANOTHER MAN BESIDES YOUR HASBAND, YOU ARE JUST THAT ONE FAITHFUL WIFE TO YOUR HUSBAND. NEVER, NEVER THINK OF SLEEPING WITH ANOTHER MAN AS THIS WILL NOT BE SHORT LIVED AND THAT IS SIN BEFORE GOD . ENCOURAGE YOUR HUSBAND AND I KNOW YOU CAN CHANGE HIM INTO BEING A MAN YOU WANT HIM TO BE IN BED. TELL HIM THAT HE CAN DO IT.HE TRAINS EVERYDAY AND HAS ENOUGH ENERGY TO TAKE YOU ALL THE WAY TO YOUR DESTINATION.

  10. Chola   January 21, 2016 at 11:34 am

    The story has some inconsistencies, but if it is true, I advise you the following:
    1. Your husband has severe erectile dysfunctional illness. It is exacerbated by psychological issues.
    2. Stop making undue sex demands or judging his sexual prowess. It affects him psychologically
    3. He must seek physco-social counseling to help him accept his condition. He is born like that, period!
    4. He must go for male circumcion, it helps in prolonging the sexual activity and thus help you reach orgasm- the satisfaction women want
    5.Have a lot of foreplay before sex. penetration is not the only thing there is to enjoy sex.
    6.STOP THAT SECOND SEX PARTNER CRAP, it will affect him more than the sexual satisfaction you will get from it.

  11. junior   January 21, 2016 at 11:42 am

    sex is the gift given by God to enjoy between a husband and a wife.
    thre my words of encouragement to u if u are going to have time to read my pot is that “go back to God the original creator of our well being with God nothing is imposible.

  12. felix sosani   January 21, 2016 at 11:49 am

    Yeah, if this story is true sister, it is sin to sleep with another man the bible teils us clear on this. Again you can not devoce him on this issue again. Be strong enough on this problem by evolving elders and neel down ask God , put him in prayers everything is possible to God.

  13. George   January 21, 2016 at 12:01 pm

    My sister your husband need’s God’s intervention. Nothing is impossible with God. You can also help by praying for him, if you are willing we can join hands in prayer and when he comes back he can connect in payers. There is no situation without a solution. Just believe God. Mark 9:23.

  14. major   January 21, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    send mi the email of ha plz

  15. prophet Baraka kalinga   January 21, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    for God is nothing is impossible just pray according to Numbers 23vs19to20 and John 14:14 for more info please sms call or whatsapp prophet Baraka for prayers and delivarance God is the sorution to your problems

  16. James   January 21, 2016 at 4:27 pm

    Kindly put your number so that we can talk to you.

  17. James   January 21, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    Call 0967585155 for advice

  18. rmc   January 21, 2016 at 7:16 pm

    be strong in the lord, miracles stil happens

  19. George mchinzi   January 21, 2016 at 7:22 pm

    GO FOR FASTING AND PRAYER IT IS THE devil my sister…..GOD IS GOD HE WILL NEVER FAIL TO SOLVE ANY SITUATION IN HEAVEN ABOVE OR UNDER THE SUN…….BLESSED BE THE GOD OF HEAVEN AND THE EARTH…..IF WAT U AR SAYING IS THE TRUTH…BEFORE THE END OF THIS YEAR ALL SHALL BE WELL WITH YOU….

  20. white juju   January 21, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    on average a girl child hits de trap at 11-12 yearz! meaning u hav kept urself pure approximty 4 10 yerz! dis simply telz me dat u can still mak it even now! to honest it painz me, coz wth me its de opposite! my wife complainz dat trice in 7 dayz z too much! o de best!

  21. wakumawa   January 21, 2016 at 11:44 pm

    iwe!!!! put him pa diaty ya 2 medda ya nshaba.per week hmmmm !!!! haaa aza gijima.

  22. ulubunda   January 22, 2016 at 8:00 am

    The doctor lied to you. Wait for your God given husband and have him take SIDENAFIL 10mg Asheville give you the sex of his youth. Sex outside marriage no.

  23. ulubunda   January 22, 2016 at 8:13 am

    The doctor lied to you. Wait for your God given husband and have him take SIDENAFIL 10mg and he Will give you the sex of his youth. Sex outside marriage no.

  24. SMG   January 22, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    May GOD Almighty bless you for coming out open in such a manner, the devil does not choose which area he can attack but what will matters is your defense against the attack. For the Bible say the devil will come like a flood but GOD shall raise the standard, as you are reading this email let my GOD raise the standard in your heart that you should not fall into this trap. the bible records many are the troubles of a righteous man/woman but GOD almighty delivers him/her from all of them. Look unto GOD for a miracle, your husband has lost hope but i want to say it is not over until GOD says so. Focus unto GOD not man or friends

  25. pf   January 22, 2016 at 1:39 pm

    Zambian Doctors awe sure, he lied so that you may give it to him?? Pathetic!!!!

  26. Ananias   January 22, 2016 at 2:47 pm

    Sisi sorry 4 late advice. Just find money and time to take him to T.b Joshua 4 prayers in Jesus’ name he will b fine.

  27. the great   January 22, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    my dear sister blessed be to those who wait in the Lord for the kingdom of heaven are theirs. if this is true situation then take my advise:Sarah in the Bible stayed many years without a child but with the Power and Grace of our Lord in her old age she gave birth. wat am trying to say here is that God does not fail moreover nothing impossible with God.only our sins distance us from his blessings dear sister pray with your beloved Husband to God and your problem will end.you know hope is the last thing to lose in life. you still have chance your husband will be okey never should you sleep with another man never! its a sin God will punish you for that because by doing that,its simply means you overlook God’s power.stay blessed!

  28. paul   January 23, 2016 at 3:17 am

    The only that can help is prayer . God is able….

  29. Amakays   January 23, 2016 at 7:23 am

    It is sad. Use Vibrators or Toys or Touch your Critoris at night.

  30. Mu guys   January 23, 2016 at 7:46 am

    I want contact line

  31. Mu guys   January 23, 2016 at 8:11 am

    Send line to my email

  32. lesleysue   January 23, 2016 at 3:18 pm

    @chola u are so rite

  33. MR MABOSHE   January 23, 2016 at 5:50 pm

    WE HAD A SIMILAR PROBLEM 20 YEARS AGO WITH MY WIFE,AND WE ARE OKEY.THE SLUTION IS THERE AND IT IS NOT PHYSICAL MEDICINE.IF IT IS OKEY WITH YOU,PLEASE CONTACT US ON 0965027069.

  34. chongo   January 23, 2016 at 6:38 pm

    Bane yu r blessed if yu r telling us the truth.Know let me give yu the number of same one who cn give yo hubby ifyo ulefyaya;;is ….is …G O D.

  35. chosen one   January 23, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    go to church both of you and let a real reverand pray for both of you,you will be delivered in JESUS NAME.

  36. Patrick hiba   January 23, 2016 at 10:06 pm

    Whats contac no.

  37. CHIS J   January 23, 2016 at 10:14 pm

    You were not told by alangizy try dem de wil tel u all de drils u wil enjoy frequently he wil b a man ,sorry,

  38. clint   January 23, 2016 at 10:29 pm

    see doctor for ten time or email me.l no yu hav a big problem .l hav some strong modern medicen l can help u just email me,lm in luanda angola sunday next in zambia lm a doctor.